Confession of a Yoga Vixen 1.0

Like all insecure and inflexible yogi’s, I head toward the back of the class to roll out my mat. I feel safe there. And even though this particular class has mirrors everywhere, I still feel like no can see me. I also double as a Ninja.

The yoga truth is, nobody cares if you move like a swan or if you look like you’re trying to get out of a straight jacket. Getting into those postures requires your full attention and the will to win. And let me tell you something else, Yoga ain’t for suckas. Some of those positions will make a woman out you! Word.

I practice yoga for a myriad of reasons. The obvious is to increase my flexibility. I mean who doesn’t love a good hip opener. Not to mention I’ve had chronic back issues since I was a child and yoga certainly helps with keeping my back muscles strong and less prone to injury. And best of all my internal organs get a nice detoxifying massage.

But I have a confession. The fa real, fa real reason I go to yoga class is because I want control over my body in a sexual way. Don’t get it twisted (or maybe you should), I got enough mojo to drop down and get my eagle on, but what I’d really like to do is rest my ankle on his shoulder like ‘dere it is dere’! I want to have that brother wearing a #gotyoga t-shirt for the rest of his life!

I hate that my current range of motion is similar to a rapper on house arrest. But like a rapper on house arrest, that isn’t going to stop me from going where I need to go or in my case bending where I need to bend. I enjoy the benefits of the mind/body connection and those cleansing deep breaths. But underneath it all is the sensual yoga vixen waiting for the day when all of her extremities move like water, spilling over as they please.

Because I’m honest about what my end game is, I’m apt to practicing yoga more consistently and certainly with more focus. For example, maybe you need to lose weight because you have diabetes or high blood pressure. All good reasons to lose weight and take control of your health. But it’s highly okay, that the real you reason you’ve maintained your diet foodstyle is because you want to go shopping with your size 8 girlfriends or you want to pour your curves into that steamy black dress hiding in the back of your closet.

Maybe your reasons to be the best version of yourself aren’t naughty at all and kudos to you Friend. But if you are anything like me, set your inner vixen free!

My name is Spiryt and I am a yoga vixen.

2 Comments

  1. Wow I really enjoyed reading this! I had a few lessons in the past to help improve my flatfooted, bowlegged, weak balanced self, and the stretching to increase flexibility and speed for martial arts training. Seeing that yoga and gung-fu have similar stances and stretching, I stopped thinking that yoga was to girly and all sex. I still think its a slow gentle exercise to strengthen the body, with a focus more to opening up the body for a higher sexual stimulation as martial arts makes the body stronger for health, defending and sexual stamina truth be told. I wish you well Yogi-Wan Shinobi on your road to sexual supremacy. 🌻

  2. Love it. The whole sexual flexibility has peaked my interest!

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